Look, dude, I don't even know anymore

gayfour:

the-haiku-bot:

thisiswhymomworries:

3tno:

thisiswhymomworries:

how many synonyms for “penis” do I actually know?

and how many of those synonyms am I actually willing to use

tier 1 (most accepted, considered sexy): cock, dick

tier 2 (generally accepted): length, manhood, member, shaft

tier 3 (clinical, too formal, but not cheesy): groin, penis, phallus

tier 4 (cheesy, barely acceptable): [insert name] Jr., dong, junk, knob, prick, rod, tool, wand, wood

tier 5 (ridiculous, unacceptable, pls don’t): anything to do with beer cans, baby-maker, bishop, choad, donger, dragon, fuck wand, fun stick, hog, johnson, jimmy, lap rocket, little [insert name], love muscle/rod/stick, meat stick, one-eyed [anything], piston, private eye, schlong, trouser snake, wiener, winkie

tier 6 (you’re literally a fourth grader): baby arm, baloney pony, beaver basher, beef whistle, custard launcher, dude piston, flesh flute, heat-seeking moisture missile, krull the warrior king, luigi, mayo shooting hotdog gun, meter long king kong dong, pig skin bus, piss weasle, purple-headed yogurt flinger, purple-helmeted warrior of love, schlong dongadoodle, single barreled pump action bollock, spawn hammer, steamin’ semen truck, tan banana, thundersword, wang doodle, whoopie stick, wing wang doodle, yogurt shotgun 

tier 3 (clinical,

too formal, but not cheesy):

groin, penis, phallus

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

(via helpimhyperfixating)

everydaylouie:

had an idea for a barbershop quartet Hatsune Miku ballad………

(lyrics below the cut!)

Keep reading

starkwillendurestone:

polishlolita:

And then she did

(via thenotsonormalkid)

never-heart-blog:

gentlefemdomstuff:

a-dope-fiend:

Completely normal and heterosexual behaviour

Hellsing is just a bunch of submissives for integra

Best summary of Hellsing ever

(via cry-ptidd)

runcibility:

qrowscant-art:

who else did this

(via thatdarnmusicgeek)

pisshandkerchief-deactivated202:

gender trouble will have you saying shit like I have got to get some more masculine earrings

(via thatdarnmusicgeek)

mthrfckng-m1r4cl3s:

when did you stop watching every marvel movie?

Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk, Iron Man 2, Thor

Captain America the First Avenger, The Avengers, Iron Man 3, Thor the Dark World

The Winter Soldier, Guardians of the Galaxy, Age of Ultron, Ant-Man

Civil War, Doctor Strange, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, Spider-Man Homecoming

Thor Ragnarok, Black Panther, Avengers Infinity War, Ant-Man and the Wasp

Captain Marvel, Avengers Endgame, Spider-Man Far From Home, Black Widow

Shang-Chi Legend of 10 Rings, Eternals, No Way Home, Multiverse of Madness

Thor Love & Thunder, Black Panther Wakanda Forever, Antman & Wasp Quantumania

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 (still keeping up with Marvel movies)

> show answers

i think we as a society went through a period where people watched every marvel movie because they’re marvel movies. So, which of these movies was the last one you watched before only watching Marvel movies you’re genuinely interested in seeing?

(some titles are shortened/condensed to fit into the character limit)

(via modernmythic)

yummi-0413:

yea optimus I love your boobs….no I mean chest 😏 👉👈

inneskeeper:

inneskeeper:

sethprotector:

inneskeeper:

“I don’t like the Jack Harkness test because it means it’s okay to fuck Scooby Doo”

yes that’s the entire damn point of the Harkness test. The Harkness Test doesn’t exist to say you have to fuck Scooby Doo. The Harkness Test exists to say that it is morally/ethically fine for someone to want to fuck Scooby Doo, because Scooby Doo can give informed consent and communicate as such.

the reason you don’t like it is because none of you are self-aware enough to realize how incredibly fucking puritan all of you are when it comes to fucking

Tumblr being free is humanity’s greatest error.

Then pay me 20$ if you feel so strongly about it

Tumblr is a free website where I am paid $20

(via tench)